Covering the Fidel Coverage: Press Outnumbers Street Urchins In Little Havana

Yesterday Fidel Castro up and quit us like some kind of dead beat daddy with a new hooker in town and the ensuing aftermath spurred the startling realization that no one in America or Cuba really gives a shit or has any hope for the future. That raft sailed in July of ’06, okay? Still the Miami New Times along with the rest of the free world decided to dispatch correspondents post-haste to those parts of Little Havana where the Cubans go to drink over-caffeinated beverages and talk shit about whoever’s not there. As one might anticipate, it was a bit of a let down.

10:54 a.m.: A photographer from one of the many Cuban periodiquitos asks a group of old men holding Cuban flags to pose for a picture near the Versailles Bakery entrance. “Like this,” the photographer cries, thrusting his fist up in the air. Nearby, a cameraman orders a cafecito and says, “Nothing’s gonna change in Cuba. Nothing’s gonna change there until the rats start eating each other.”

More inspirational anecdotes after the jump.

9:38 a.m.: Nine satellite trucks are parked around Versailles. Members of the news media outnumber regular folks two to one. A tiny elderly man in a white tuxedo and red bow tie sets down a boombox, blasting salsa music near the restaurant’s front door. The man, Santiago Portal, dances while holding his right hand in a V for victory, shouting “Viva cuba libre,” and clutching a sign that reads “Murió Fidel. Yo Quiero El Cambio.” Camera crews jostle to capture the event.

10:45 a.m.: It is raining hard on Calle Ocho. This gives folks outside an excuse to crowd under the awning near the to-go counter, creating a rush on cafecitos and croquetas. Despite the downpour, Miguel Saavedra, president of the exile group Vigilia Mambisa, gives a spirited interview to a comely University of Miami journalism student. They are the only ones standing outside, except for a bearded elderly woman pushing an empty baby carriage and sipping a Natural Ice Light tallboy. After a few minutes, she does a little dance. The TV cameras ignore her.

11:25 a.m.: CNN erects a second tent in the Versailles parking lot.

11:31 a.m.: Across the street, someone hangs from a tree a large sheet airbrushed with the likeness of Elián González.

11:41 a.m.: A singer who says his name is Andy Thomas hawks DVDs in the crowd. “It’s a comedy about the death of Fidel Castro!” he says. “It’s set to the music of The Lord of the Rings. Only five dollars!”

You know, this would actually make a pretty good Fellini film if anyone can summon up the will.

Fidel’s Gone. Yawn. [Miami New Times]