Hi ladies! So you know we’re all these horrid mutant with imperfect breasts and unflattering fallopian tubes and that little bit of armpit fat that splooshes out whenever you wear a strapless top? Well, guess what! Now we can worry about how unattractive are assholes are, too. No, not our significant others, sillies:

It has come to our attention that it is no longer acceptable for your bunghole to be, well, brown. (Yeah, we said bunghole.) And South Beach Skin Solutions has developed a lightening gel that is safe for that sensitive area (no, we have not tried it).

The natural product claims to give your poopshooter “a fresher, more youthful look” by making it blend in with your natural skin tone. (Seriously?) Here’s how it works: The gentle formula first exfoliates then naturally depigments and whitens the backdoor by reducing the activity of tyrosinase (an enzyme responsible for darkening) in the skin.

Because you’re shithole is looking, um, kind of old. Seriously, though, do whatever you want with your asshole but we figure if a guy is close enough to ours to name its color, he should be so super fucking grateful that he forfeits any right he has to have an opinion on it.

BungGlow 8 [Daily Candy]