Eva Mendes Is Foreva Mending Her Substance-Abusin’ Ways

[Ed. note: Yeah, you like that title? Shut up.] Eva Mendes has checked herself out of the Cirque Lodge Rehabilitation Center in Utah and is back in Los Angeles, which is pretty much the ideal place for people on the brink of a relapse. Says her publicist:

“Eva has been working hard for the past year and made a positive decision to take some much-needed time off to proactively attend to some personal issues that, while not critical, she felt deserved some outside professional support. Out of respect for Eva’s privacy, we do not wish to discuss further details.”

Well, there go our plans for inviting Eva to any of our tupperware parties. Tupperware full of moonshine and meth. Woo! Aw. There goes another tooth. We really liked that one, too.

Eva Mendes Checks Out Of Rehab [Lossip]