Gaybriel Explains Everything Gay And Latino: My Favorite Stereotypes About Gay, Latino Men
14 February 2008, 1:45 PM. By Guanabee Staff
In Latin America homosexuals are still considered the unfortunate other. Even progressive homochummy Latinos are sometimes clueless as to how to deal with their gay friends. An issue that sometimes reflects this country’s prevailing attitudes towards Latinos in general. We’re living in an era where Latinos, like gays, are demonized to the point where it is considered righteous, even patriotic, to bash, degrade, and even kill Latinos and immigrants. To gay people, this inquisition sounds all too familiar. For your edification in all things homo, gaythority Bosrican is gonna dig deep into the thresh-holes of gaytino subject matter. We’ll see if your rectum is truly straight.
We all know that Latinos in the US are subjected to a wide array of stereotypes. We’re lazy, loud, here illegally, taking everybody’s jobs, always late, swallowing up every last Tylenol in the health care system, greasy, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. But, for gay Latinos, the list doesn’t end there. So, pour yourself a tall, fruity one and explore with me my personal favorites:
Every Gay Latino Likes Gloria Estefan
If I collected a dollar from every person who’s ever asked me if I like Gloria Estefan, I’d be snorting lines off Ricky Martin’s ass in Belize till kingdom come. But I’m an idiot and didn’t do that, so here I blog. Gloria Estefan was popular twenty years ago, but you’d think she’s published relevant music every day since. Let me break it to you dear reader: Gloria is an average singer at best. I hate to get all the Cuban-American glittery g-strings in a knot, but por tu vida, please get a new gay idol. It’s not as if it’s hard to find an ex-pat with musical talent in this country. Also, here’s a hint to all you Anglos with a Latino fetish: Just because she wrote a song called “conga” doesn’t mean we all dig her. I mean, reggaeton is hot shit right now, but that doesn’t mean we’re all getting our perreo on. So a word of advice, saying you like Gloria Estefan in order to establish common ground with a brown hottie is more likely to get you a face full of whiskey than a come on.
All Gay Latinos Know How To Dance
Granted, a great deal of Gays love to dance and a great deal of Latinos do indeed know how to shake their asses, but let’s not generalize here. While some of us Latinos have that special African genetic makeup that enables us to syncopate our bodies into a lusty, cream-glazed pretzel on the dance floor, that certainly doesn’t mean those of us of the homosexual persuasion are a beat away from exploding into dance and rhythm. Unless you’re Juan Gabriel, in which case your ass might explode right into a live audience:
Not exactly Baryshnikov, is he?
It’s Totally Complimentary To Fetishize Gay Latinos As Urban/Hip-Hop/Thugzy/ghettofabulous
Images of Latinos in the media have not changed very much in the past fifty years. Even so-called Latino-progressive television shows (Cane, Ugly Betty) are rife with outdated stereotypes. And since the gays are no strangers to labels, designer or otherwise, this role attribution is played out even more so. That is, to many a white gay man, the Latino must be either in a gang, or into hip-hop, or wearing low-riding pants, or into the DL scene, or packing heat. Remember when homosexuals were exclusively thought of as being either hairdressers, florists, or flight attendants? You know how terribly clichéd that shit sounds today? To me, the thug brand is no different. Granted, we’ve all seen Latinos who will role play and present/dress/comport themselves as something they are not in order to get some ass. But if you’re a white man and think that we’re all thugz, your ass is going to get jumped and we’re gonna fuck your shit up. Unless you buy us a drink. And a Rolex.
Latinos Are All Uncircumcised
Not that I make a habit of surfing the web for porn [Ed. Note: Sha!], but I have yet to find a gay Latino web site that does not prominently mention the fact that there’s nothing but uncut cock to gawk at. In fact, the majority of gay Latino porn sites will have you think that a circumcised Latino dick is harder to find than a Klan member voting for Obama. Why is there such a strong association between gay Latino men and uncircumcised cock? Let me go out on a limb and hypothesize that it’s because, in this country, Latino men are considered dirty in the same way that uncut cock is considered dirty.
So if you are male, Latino, and circumcised and people are shocked when they have opportunity to glimpse the finely shaven head of your member, tell me about it in the comments section [Ed. Note: Also, feel free to send us photographic proof.] Maybe we can rid the world of this stereotype once and for all.
Gaytino stereotypes are the gifts that keep on giving. In fact, I’m sure there are more we must have overlooked. Do you have a favorite one? Feel free to lambada over to the computer in your G-Unit jeans and uncut cock and fill us in.
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Those peppers make me feel funny.
white girls love my pipi and are suprised by being uncut, the size and girth. The fact I dress up in Armani no less, makes them all wet inside, I even pick up a few asian chicks here and there.
Hooorah!
i’m 23, straight, mexican born in the US, and partially raised in Mexico… in my experience, the topic of circumcision’s has come up more than once. and i think i have a good answer for this partially true stereotype.
since i was born in the US where i think its safe to say that circumcisions are standard practice at male childbirth, i was circumcised at birth. but i noticed that most of my mexican friends who were born in mexico were not circumcised.
I think that circumcision is still not a standard practice in childbirth procedure in Mexico and Latin America, at least not in the same percentage as the US. Thus most Latinos have uncircumcised chilly peppers.
Does every Gay latino read Reinaldo Arenas?
@ Alex. I know what you mean, se me hizo agua el culo. (Sigh, I miss my uncle Juan)
Why do some young gaytinos shave slits into their eyebrows? Is it some sort of gaynitiation?
it’s because circumcision is overrated. Latin American doctors don’t consider it as procedure because, basically, it’s bullshit. There’s nothing dirty about a uncircumsized penis…..if you are dirty, you are dirty either if you have foreskin or not.
ps. Mine looks like the middle pepper Janie.
I really never understood how Gloria Estefan got to be a gay icon (cuz, I mean, I love me some Gloria, but you’re right, she’s not a great singer), but Celia Cruz - she of fabulous make-up, sequined outfits, glitter and magic - was somehow skipped over. Is it just cuz girlfriend isn’t cute?? Or cuz her music lacks a techno beat?
@ ponte. Duly noted…and for the record, I have never schtupped a Latino nor have I seen one nekkid.
@ Marco. I thought that Latino menz would be all about La Lupe, Charytin, Iris Chacon, XiuXa, Olga Breskin, Gina Montes before Gloria Estefan…even Rocio Durcal over Gloria…or is it that just Madonna trumps all?
Having been born the same year “Like a Virgin” was released, I feel like Madonna is old. What has she done for me recently? He last CD made me nauseous.
LEsLiE HaLL 4 LyF!!!!!!
@ Marco: I heart Leslie Hall. She is playing tonight at the Mercury Lounge in NYC. She’s coming to my neck of the woods on Feb. 29. Can’t wait!!
but uncut peen is sooooo much nicer
circumcision seems like an american phenomenon. in fact, i think i only know one (gay) latino male that’s circumcised and his boyfriend wasn’t.
don’t ask me how i know…
we frenchmen are just as often uncircumsized. especially coming in from center, and the south…
All the Hispanic pipis I’ve seen have all been circumsized… only the Brazilian wasn’t.
@ Marco. Lisssen here, whippersnapper! RESPEK for Mammadoonna. Esa perra has paved the way with connical bras for your Marc’dover self to Vogue into some chico’s heart.
The reason many gay sites offer UNCUT LATINO COCKS is because Latin men are the sexiest as is an uncut cock. That is why latin american countries do not circumcise, for sex reasons. Latin countries are hot and sexy. Latin women are hot and sexy. Latin men are hot and sexy. Uncut Latin cocks are sexy. No dead and lifeless cut cocks for us.