Jennifer Lopez’s new twins, who are probably not named Diamanté Tiara and Messiah, already dress like tiny little cashmere-swathed jerkwads:

J.Lo will keep her new baby boy wrapped in a cashmere cardigan, hat and bootie pants from Baby Cz, $279 and, of course, a matching pink set, $279, for the new fashionista of the family. The two newest members of the Anthony-Lopez clan will also have a set of Plain Mary’s Hunk and Babe onesies, $169. For the nursery, the twins will dream away in Chelsea Sleigh cribs, $1390 each while Mom and Dad relax in Glam Gliders $1,420 each. And when they need changing, the twins will have a Clara changing table, $1780. And why give up gorgeous handbags just because diapers are involved? Check out Jennifer’s Italian leather and snake skin trim Mia Bossi diaper bag, $1250.

Now, we’ve never had a baby that we’ve carried to term, so we’ll admit to not knowing the first thing about raising a child. But don’t paper towels and a few strategically-placed staples suffice? No?

J.Lo’s Nursery: Cashmere, Snakeskin and More! [Off The Rack]