Ever wonder what Jessica Alba would look like crossed with Christina Aguilera? No? Well, sucks for you, because here she is. Meet “Jesstina Albaguilera.” [Ed. note: Ooo! Potential baby name, J-Lo?] She has an amazing voice, looks great in a bikini and can make an average-size human male’s balls shrivel to the size of cashews with a mere look. Her hobbies include long walks on the beach, stretching musical stanzas for as long as humanly possible, procreating and making shadow puppets.

And she is beautiful. No matter what you say.

Morph Of: Jesstina Albaguilera