Woody Allen surrounds himself with more beautiful actresses than is fair for a man who looks like a very tiny, bespectacled penis by working with both Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz in the upcoming Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which was just picked up for distribution by the Weinstein Company. And, as any of you watched Curse of the Jade Scorpion, Scoop, Anything Else or the first three quarters of Matchpoint can probably attest, it’s probably solely because of an on-screen threesome featuring Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson and Javier Bardem:

The Weinstein Company will continue their love affair with Woody Allen and distribute his next movie, the romantic comedy/drama Vicky Cristina Barcelona, slated for release this fall. The company has released six of his films, including Cassandra’s Dream, which is currently in theaters. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Vicky and Christina [sic] (Rebecca Hall and Scarlett Johansson), two Americans vacationing in the title’s Spanish city, become part of a chain of romances involving an artist (Javier Bardem) and his nutty ex-wife (Penelope Cruz). A “steamy menage a trois sequence” between Mr. Bardem (yum!), Ms. Cruz and Ms. Johansson was the buzz abount town when the film previewed at the American Film Market in Santa Monica in November. Woody, some advice: Don’t leave that scene on the cutting room floor!

God. It’s like all of our Penelope Cruz’s our Penelope Cruz’s everyone ever’s dreams come true.

Although that’s still not going to get us to pay $11.75 to watch a Woody Allen film / Scartlett Johansson mumble her way out of acting while trying to distract us by taking off her top.

Weinstein Co. Picks Up Woody Allen’s Cristina [The NY Observer]