Watchando: Is Drunk, Single, Rich and Pregnant

- Cristiano Ronaldo turns 23 today. Somewhere, a team of hookers is extremely tired. [dlisted]
- Shakira is has no plans to marry her boyfriend; we have no plans to care one way or another. [Lossip]
- Conan O’Brien, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have a man-on-man-on-man fight that is EXACTLY as sexy as it sounds. [Defamer]
- Model Alessandra Ambrosio is now four months pregnant with a lima bean. [IDLYITW]
- Matthew McConaughey’s kid is going to be raised in a trailer. We’re pouring out a Pabst for you, little buddy. [A Socialite’s Life]