There was one time I was standing outside a door in Paris in the early evening not far from the sex shops of the 18th Arrondisment. I was waiting for my friend’s brother to show up to let in in the apartment.
A German tourist couple was walking by and made the comment “Oh look, they have fat prostitutes hanging out in the street as well”

Wish I could help you, but if you need help for what to do/who to do and in what bars in Paris or Berlin I am your gal.

Its the most awesome city in the world- and not just cuz my people are from there.

Check out the sex museum, def. Also, the cheese is amazing.

definitly have some “space cake”. do NOT eat one all by yourself. Share it with someone else if not 4 people. Its the size of a brownie and let me tell you…it’ll keep you entertained for hours. Also, must do a bike tour, check out the heiny museum (overcommercialized but a lot of fun to get drunk in). Def see Anne Frank’s house and Van Gough museum. Also, check out the Pink Elephant show in the red light district to see the biggest peepee you’re ever EVER going to see in your life in the flesh. Also, DO NOT take pics of the hookers in the windows, they will come out and eat you (and not in the good way!)

I’d definitely take one day to visit a city or town outside of Amsterdam, the cheese cities of Edam and Gouda (pronounced “how-duh”, they have no idea what “goo-duh” is) are awesome day trips, I usually bring back at least a kilo of 3-year old gouda to the States. If you appreciate art the Mauritshuis in The Hague is also a good day trip and, in my opinion, has the single best collection of art per square foot in the world, every painting is a masterpiece.

The old City Hall in Amsterdam is also well worth a visit, it was at one time the largest indoor structure in the world, or something along those lines, point is, it is amazing!

My favorite coffee shop is the Dolphin(s). When I was there last I saw this dude roll a joint the size of the one mis amigos Cheech and Chong had tied down on top of their car. Also, make sure to admire the out of this world glass pipes that local artists make and sell across town. For a free toke go to the Marijuana museum and they will offer you a tasting of their vaporizer. Hash lattes are awesome but beware of them on an empty stomach, same with space cakes, the effects can take an hour or more sometimes to hit, but you will know when they do!

For food, you have to find and eat bitterballen, they are these round balls of friend veal goodness that you dip in mustard, it is a very authentic Dutch treat. They look a little like hush puppies. Dutch waiters are just like waiters in Mexico, you have to track them down for a check b/c they thinks it’s rude for them to make people feel like they are being pushed out. This is perfect for totally stoned dinner b/c you just sit and chill for hours.

A bike is a must, just simply ride it like an Eliot Spitzer prostitute, we rode a few miles out of town and found a small Dutch bar where they didn’t speak much English and totally took us in and had lots of food and drinks.

The only other thing is to probably make sure you have a “smoker friendly” hotel room. Amsterdam is hands down one of the best cities in the world, it’s art, culture, history, and definitely it’s weed can’t be beat.

@mare: agreed on the space cake. i ate a little less than half and pretty much passed out (of course, the hash, weed and heineken in me from earlier in the day…and the blow from the night before didnt help, but i digresss).

if you can, visit the jaardan district near the old church. they have some great restaurants. i wish i could remember the italian place where i had the bestest lasagna ever but i know it’s on lindengracht between noordkerkstraat and brouersgracht. it’s also a pretty area with some great little shops.

my fave ‘coffeeshop’ was Amnesia. it’s right on herengracht on the canal. super friendly and v chill. it’s a short walk from anne frank museum. and of course, you can continue your fuckability research at the cockring and thermos.

have fun! any other suggestions, holla at me

eat some bitterballen

and then after you’ve had enough space cake & heineken go look for the windmills …there should be six.

Get a bike. Get high. Ride around. See the Anne Frank house, not stoned. Visit the hidden church, Attic Chapel/Amstelkring Museum for fantastic 17th century ingenuity.

also go check out Paradiso and/or Melkweg

and while you’re there will you buy me some wooden shoes?