Booby Trapped! Breasts Are So Out This Season
26 March 2008, 6:15 PM. By Daniel Mauser
Breasts are out, sniffs at least one ample-chested and crestfallen fashion writer, if this season’s runways are any indication. In a world where runway models double as cheese graters season after season all we can ask is, how can you tell?:
A boyish physique has long been the ideal in the lush, homoerotic environs of high style. But, of late, a glossy sub-genre has flourished in which flat-chested fashionistas scorn their well-endowed sisters, or urge them to “hide and disguise” in - ye gods - bandeau tops. Gucci and Jil Sander are mad for them this spring.
It makes sense to us that flat chests and an overall whittled-down figure would be associated with wealth and high fashion. Where once a fuller figure meant wealth, access to rich foods and the luxury of living a sedentary lifestyle, now obesity is a sign of poor or suburban middle-class Americans who eat over-processed foods and can’t afford bimonthly colonics (Tip! Back allies are discreet.) But do let’s take a trip down mammary lane…
Breasts, one may infer, represent the difference between the haute and the high street. Where flat chests are chic and classy, so heaving bosoms are judged trashy, de trop.
This should come as little surprise. Throughout history, breasts have been the playthings of class. During the Renaissance, when Elizabeth I was wont to draw attention to her sexagenarian assets, the chic bosom demanded small and perfectly formed Diane de Poitiers-style orbs. Less than a century later, the upwardly mobile breast required the more lavish proportions of a Barbara Villiers or Nell Gywn. Victorian breasts were modest, Edwardian embonpoints; Twenties bosoms were flattened, Forties appendages were recrafted as missiles.
We’ll continue barely filling out a 32A with pride and tissue, regardless of what eating disorder Anna Wintour et al see it fit to give us this Spring. We will keep our fingers crossed for the day inverted and tertiary nipples become the hottest new accessories.
Why fashion has banished the bosom [Telegraph]
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ask the guy down the hall and he’ll say my big chichis will never go out of style!
It’s just because the fashonists don’t know how to design for the twins.
Big luscious breasts, perky little breasts, in between, average boobs are all considered absolutely yummilicious at my house.
I love ‘em all.
And the women who wear them!
Some things NEVER go out of style.
Duh! No wonder I have a crush on the asian girl who sits next to my cubicle…i so want to rail her, and it took an a blogger to point that out to me
hooray!
As stated in “I LIke It Like That” … “My tetas are fly!!!!”
I had this crush on a young indita that made tortillas and sold fresh cheese and (ironically) chicharrones, she was like 5′2″ but daaamnn. She’s packing like 40 DD maybe E cups. They closed the pinche tortilla shop and now I lost her forever. I never flirted with her because I didn’t want her to think I was some kinda’ creep (true) that just wanted to date her to squeeze and suckle on (very true) her very succulent, juicy, and firm chicharrones. I found very attractive that she always wore these big T shirts and tried too hard to hide those jewels, but there was no way she could conceal those puppies! After that my motto is: Jump on them tetonas when the oppurtunity arrives y agarrate cabron!