Sports gambling and betting information site, OffshoreInsiders.com released a report today that says Barack Obama will take Texas, Hillary Clinton will win Ohio and David Archuleta will be crowned America’s next Idol. Tell us something we don’t know, gamblers! After the jump, the numbers in more detail and a video ploy for Obama/Archuleta ‘08:

Obama is a -215 favorite in the Lone Star state, while Clinton is -310 in the Buckeye State. For betting newbies, both are considered strong favorites to win their respective primaries.

For those looking ahead to the General Election, Obama is a heavy favorite to win at 1/2, while John McCain is next at 7/5. “Don’t count out Hillary Clinton,” warns sports betting expert Joe Duffy, also the top political handicapper. Clinton is now a long shot at 19/2.

But even the dark-hearted pool hall dwellers love little David Archuleta more than life itself:

Sad to say, but likely more Americans are concerned not about John McCain, Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama but about whether anyone can beat David Archuleta on American Idol. Archuleta is a powerful 4/5, stunning for anyone this early in the competition.

Dare we “imagine” an Obama/Archuleta ‘08 ticket? In our dreams, kids. IN. OUR. DREAMS.

Online Casinos: Clinton Wins Ohio, Obama Takes Texas and Archuletta is Your American Idol [Offshore Insiders]