When news spread that investment firm Bear Stearns was bankrupt and was going to get all gobbled up by JP Morgan, a lot of people reacted with outbursts along the lines of “FUCK them! FUCK them in the ASS!” while maybe throwing a stapler across their cubicle, perhaps shattering Marge in accounting’s Cathy mug. Well for at least one Manhattan-based dominatrix, the threat was fairly literal. Writes Miss Victoria X:

Inspired by the example of the generous Hamptons-based design firm which is now offering its stagings service at a discounted price to current/former/soon to be former Bear Stearns employees (staging is cleaning and prepping a house to be shown for sale), I have decided to offer a discount on sessions to all current/former/soon to be former Bear Stearns employees. The discount is equivalent to the current value of a share of Bear Stearns stock. That is to say, $2.

Intriguing. Tell us more as we slowly sink our stiletto into this silly man’s rectum:

I approached this decision with some trepidation. You see, in my experience finance guys usually want things in their asses. I do not offer anal play on demand. Consequently the majority of my clients are lawyers. I have always believed that the aforementioned fact is why Rapture “it’s rare that we have a session where someone doesn’t want something up his butt” NYC is located in Tribeca. They know where their market works.

However, I believe that in times like these we all have to help as we can, and I’ve decided to go through with my offer. I have come up with the following non anal play scenarios, which I hope will be appealing (I think everyone at Bear Stearns already got fucked up the ass enough this week, anyway):

• domestic service training (useful in preparing for future job as a janitor at Goldman Sachs)
spanking combined with verbal chastising (“Caused!” whack “Sub-prime!” whack “Crisis!” whack “Very!” whack “Very!” whack “Naughty!” whack whack whack)
• 78 cane strokes (number chosen to represent the difference between Bear Stearns’ $80 per share book value and the actual current share price of $2)
• interrogation roleplay (I am Coughlin Stoia and you are Bear Stearns. Helpful in preparing for upcoming deposition)
• master/slave roleplay (I am JP Morgan and you are Bear Stearns. Now I own you)

This is…

…By far the most excellent idea we’ve ever encountered. And hey! Guess who now has fun ideas for the weekend.

In which I give back to the community [Miss Victoria X]