Easter Came Early For One Florida Couple

If microwaving Peeps and eating jellybeans until your pancreas explodes doesn’t make your Easter celebration XXXtreme enough for your liking, you might want to follow in the hands-and-footsteps of one Florida couple and just go ahead and have sex on an altar:

Arriving deputies said they found the door of the church on county Road 210 busted out and undergarments scattered on the floor. They found Crystal Ann Rowland, 24, hiding behind the pulpit and Matthew Thomas Pearce, 28, hiding in the crawl space under the church.

Pearce told deputies that he had Rowland were drinking when she told him she wanted a “spiritual and sexual experience.” Deputies said Rowland broke into the little-used church located next to the North Prong Cemetery near Sanderson.

Gross. You know this was just an excuse for him to make a “He has risen” joke, right?

Deputies: Couple Broke Into Church For Sex [News 4 Jax]