Guanabee Asks: So, Like. What Are The Kids Into These Days?
19 March 2008, 2:00 PM. By Daniel Mauser
We’ll admit, proudly, to not having the slightest idea what teenagers are into these days. You could tell us they’re having tea parties with their teddy bears or sneaking out of third period geometry to give their boyfriend blumpkins or discovering a cure for cancer and we wouldn’t believe you either way. Probably because, given we live in a neighborhood where everyone is between the ages of 21 and 28, we’re not actually sure teens even exist anymore. So when we saw this photo of 14-year-old Ali “Not Lindsay” Lohan staring dead-eyed at us from the pages of Star, we weren’t sure if it was normal that she looked kind of like a raccoon that had just lost fight with a Chevy Impala.
So, tell us, lovely Guanabee readers, as you are all surely either related to or currently trolling websites full of teenagers… Is it normal for girls Ali’s age to look like they’re well acquainted with the losing end of a gloryhole? Or is this just another instance of stage mom Dina Lohan irreversibly damaging one of her spawn?
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You’re right. Teenagers don’t exist anymore. They were a 90’s trend that went the way of grunge and Teva’s sandals.
Ali Lohan looks like one of those 40 something women who look really young but whose hard living always betrays their advanced age. Ditto for Lindsey, she’s like 21 and often looks at least ten years older. All that makeup and hair and fake tans and inappropriate palstic surgery at a very young age just makes you look like a used up porn star, I can’t believe people like to go for that look at all. But maybe I’m just hatin’….After all, Ali’s just a child!!!! Another one that looks 20 years older: Taylor Momsen from Gossip Girls, and that Miley Cyrus chick.
Maybe it’s just their fair skin. Poor white people. They can’t help it.
It’s hollywood that’s doing it..
i have a 13 year old niece …she might be 14 no 13.. anyway and she looks like a normal teenager, she does get her eyebrows waxed but only because she’ll look like Madonna’s daughter if she doesn’t.
Oh those mythical creatures some call “teenagers” are busy wearing pointy hats and hiding in the landscape of Latin countries.
Teenagers are as they always have been…pushing boundaries (that adults have set up, by the way), coping with the awkwardness of growing from one dependant stage of life into an expectantly independent one, and/or finding themselves in the midst of increasingly complicated relationships; within their own families, friendship circles, and/or intensifying romantic relations. I do think teens today are coming of age in an increasingly hostile/aggressive/competitive global culture. It is not uncommon to hear elite universities boast having an average freshman GPA from 3.8- 4.2 (ucla’s avg freshman GPA=4.2). Teens in America have a vague awareness of a war but are too distracted by the antics of wannabee starlets. Not to mention that teens today have been grown amidst the savviest and most psychologically tailored marketing campaigns devised by man and McDonalds and Nike and MTV and everything else I kinda liked at one time.
I have a high-school aged brother who is a 6ft tall adorably chubby mex-am classical violinist and straddling a number of identity/age/race/class issues. As for the less than 1% so called “teen-agers” named above…well, these privileged/ disenfranchised children are an obviously painful minority. While there maybe teenagers who seek to emulate this seemingly “elite” group, they are by no means the status quo if for no other reason than 99% of teen-agers can not afford or legally enter my favorite Dry Martini/ Kamikaze/ Black Magic/Russian Kamikaze/Chocolate Raspberry Martini/ Banana Chocolate Martini/ Screwdriver/ Plum Sake/ watering holes.