For some time now, South America has been doing its best impression of the boundless nympho tramp to get America’s dollars. Guanabee Contributing Correspondent Eve Hyman explores first hand the latest ways our neighbors to the south are working hard to scratch the North American itch for all things below the equator.

Buenos Aires has become costly for Argentines, but the city makes for a fabulous playground for those with American dollars to spend. So, if you’re an American tourist who wants to powder your nose, peep some eye candy and get yourself thoroughly shtupped, I suggest you stop by Kim y Novak.

It’s Tuesday night at Kim Y Novak in trendy Palermo and the usually crowded bar is doing its best impression of a Brazilian — looking pretty sparse downstairs. The bottom level is where the dirty customers come to play. Tonight, the only people down there are a retired, gay porn star, a burly, Mafioso-looking type in a suit, an aging party boy, an itchy-looking dealer, and a couple of fag-hags. These are the diehards and they seem to make up the core crowd of Kim y Novak. Upstairs, there’s more of a scene with groups gathered around sidewalk tables enjoying the summer night, and couples in the booths inside.

But the normal Palermo bar crowd isn’t what makes Kimy go. Ask any hipster in Palermo Soho or Hollywood and they’ll tell you — it’s the freaks.

The bar takes its name from Kim Novak, a 1950’s pin up girl who starred in the Hitchcock film Vertigo. The owners are two Argentine scenester film directors, Bosco and Jojo. On this Tuesday I have the pleasure of deejaying downstairs where I spend some time with the charming nutjob Marcelo Bosco who really has his a way with some of the staff. He likes to harass the hot, male bar backs. As I look on with interest, he slaps them, pushes them down the stairs, and pushes one of their heads down to his pelvis, laughing. The bar back doesn’t seem to mind.

Kim y Novak’s inner circle is comprised of trannies, trustafarians, models and run-of-the-mill cokeheads. There are regular visits by celebrities and entertainment has-beens alike. Willem Dafoe was a recent guest and so was Argentine actress, ex it-girl Divina Gloria. The bar just celebrated its three-year anniversary with cake, drugs and plenty of fake blood and fake body parts in which Divina represented divinely. Willem Dafoe’s visit kind of throws me for a loop. I worked out next to him in Vegas at the little gym in the Hard Rock Hotel once – just me and Will – and he seemed really together, a regular guy, despite his intimidating cheekbones. But finding him swimming in Kimy’s puts him in a whole other league of gentlemen!

Kim y is both trashy and fabulous and, in Buenos Aires, it’s a one-of-a-kind. Of course, there are a number of establishments where one can go to get liquored, perform base sexual acts in public, and hit the slopes, but not a one is as fashionable or notorious for precisely such activity as is Kimy. It’s like a den of iniquity that feels like home.

Kimy is worthy of its reputation; in a town that overflows with tempting nightlife options - each one looking to have its way with you for the night - Kim y Novak is the slut who steals your boyfriend. And she is probably a he.