Mexican Emo Kids Should Follow Jesus, Says Bishop

In light of recent hissy fits organized by emo Mexicans, Bishop of Chiapas, Felipe Arizmendi Esquivel, has recommended that they settle down, wipe off all that eyeliner, tuck their shirts in and follow the example of Jesus. Which is generally good advice we feel, but. Dude, seriously?

Jesus is the most emo deity ever. To wit:

• Jesus seems to have spent an awful lot of time on his hair and perfecting his “looking down and slightly to the side” self-taken digital photo pose.
• He’s on MySpace.

• His slender physique would really lend itself to being poured into a pair of skinny jeans.
• He threw tantrums in public. See: Temple. Which had sort of turned into a mall around that time, if you think about it (don’t).
• He was totally fixated on death.
• Had a distant Father.
• He was constantly forcing his friends into listening to His poetry. Like the one about the mustard seed? Lame.

So there is absolutely no way Jesus is going to cure anyone of her emo-ness. What these kids really need? Is a little Priest:

Healed!

Invita obispo de Chiapas a emos a imitar a Jesús [El Universal]
Earlier: Mexican Emo Kids Stage Protests To Take Back Sunday