Sure, we’ve perused Craigslist’s Missed Connections section as much as the next creepy, self-absorbed person, so we thought it was a cute idea on Houstonist’s part to pick a few and make fun of them so that people reading can feel better about their own dating situations which is, and correct us if we’re wrong, precisely why the internet was created in the first place. But then they had to go and get all cringe-inducing, and not entirely in a schadenfreudey sort of way.

The post:

Camilia at Front Porch Pub - m4w - 26

hey i know this a super long shot. camilia with the black hair (and goes to cyfair???), please contact me. you were with your friends - your roomy wearing a red top with long curly brown hair, the black, the white and the asian guy. ok..jajajaja, sounds like the start of a bad joke. they were a little over protective which is completely reasonable. We arm wrestled. i thought you were beautiful. you kept complaining that you hurt your arm earlier in the night. You sang for me. I was impressed, but you wanted me to sing for you but I can’t sing. You tried to kiss me too many times, but you were a little drunk. I never got your number because your friends interfered. I’d love to take you out sometime.

The response:

Dude, you need a wing man. And, we don’t care if you speak Spanish or not, laughing is always spelled “hahahaha.” It’s a fact. You can look it up.

It’s a safe bet that any sentence starting with “Dude” is going to be systematically false and smell faintly of Jäger bombs. Now, the use of “jajaja” dropped into a conversation that is otherwise entirely in English is a personal source of ire for us, true. But… you read this entire Missed Connection and the one thing you find fault with is “jajaja?” Not the injury-inducing arm wrestling? Not the various, thwarted attempts at date rape? Just the laying down of a little Spanish? …Really?

Houston’s Missed Connections: Marrying Young is Dumb [Houstonist]