New York magazine’s “Look Book” is an amazing tool. It’s also an excellent resource for finding out what people who would never want to become trapped in a conversation with at a party without open bar. This week, they profile two Latina socialites, Eglantina Zingg snd Elisa Estrada. Pass around a screwdriver and hold the orange juice, kittens, because it’s time to meet these two lovely ladies. And, as it just so happens, we are fluent in socialese. As such, we’ll happily provide you with a comprehensive translation of what Eg and El have to say:

What do you guys do?

ELISA: Right now I am living life. Because I can. I’m living, and I’m enjoying. I collect art, I collect fashion. I can’t lie to you, I love it. At some point you follow a type of life with a schedule, and I kind of said, “You know what? I’m going to take a hike for a while.”

EGLANTINA: I was just in the Amazon. My father has a farm there. I was doing some work that was ecofriendly, planting trees. I study drama in London too.

Translation: I’m so bored. Bored with life! It’s all “Life, life, life!” every day! So boring! I guess sometimes I like to see if I can lift my legs behind my head? But it’s hard. But look, my thumb is double-jointed.

Where are you from?

ELISA: Ecuador. South America. Far away and beyond … but I like to travel. When I get sick of seeing the same thing, I travel. I have to go many places, I live many places.

EGLANTINA: I am from Venezuela, the most beautiful country you can ever see. But lately I haven’t spent much time there. I live between Miami and L.A. and New York and London and Italy. But don’t think that I’m just a jumping fly—I come to every place with a reason. I don’t just come and sit and scratch my tummy.

Translation: Planes are loud, go vroom! I just come and sit and scratch my tummy.

Tell me about your outfits.

ELISA: The fur is Fendi, the hat is like a Rasta type of hat, and I don’t know where it is from, but it is a great hat.

EGLANTINA: My coat, it is vintage. I love getting dressed. It’s my favorite thing, getting dressed.

Translation: My clothes, let me show you them. I stole this lovely coat off a yeti. He cried, but I look better in it. Look at it when I twirl. Haha! Now I’m dizzy. I love wearing pants, usually on my legs.

You’re welcome.

Eglantina Zingg and Elisa Estrada, Travelers [New York Magazine]