KGBT TV in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas (represent!) interviewed Emilio Navaira’s family recently to see how he’s faring. In addition to learning that his sons are totes not Tejano cowboys, we also learn Emilio has been watching...
Here’s Gisele Bundchen looking stupid while promoting her stupid shoes, stupidly. Think of an appropriately stupid caption. [Image]...
Now that Miley Cyrus has proven to be a little strumpet in “a duchess satin stole, Champagne, specially made”, Disney execs are moving in on their next starlet harlot, Selena Gomez: Executives at the company that produces the “Hannah...
We want to roll with this little pimp Latarian Milton in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida (hollah!) cuz he tells it like it is. When asked by a TV reporter why he stole his grandmother’s SUV and rammed it into...
Someone in New York is making subway posters into works of art and not just a place to rest your eyes while a man defecates on the platform beside you. [Gawker] Christina Aguilera defends her hideous fashion choices and...
“Dancing with the Stars’” Karina Smirnoff would like you to know that she’s not just some canoodler running amok long the streets of Los Angeles and is still very much with her meal ticket (Doritos and a Big Gulp...
Just a little reminder that we’re still in the midst of our “Name Aliza Shvarts’ Project” contest. So keep sending your title ideas to daniel at guanabee.com and you can be one of two Guanababies to win an Aliza-inspired...
This new ad campaign from Brazilian travel group Flytour is, like the entire country of Brazil, TOTALLY NSFW It also reminds us of the movie Crazy People. In the movie, a group of insane ad execs sell sexy, new...
Jennifer Lopez’s reality series for TLC, which was originally touted as a look into her life as a mother, is actually just going to be a series-long perfume commercial. Equally fascinating: “The recent show Jennifer Lopez plans to produce...
A good chunk of Latinos made it onto People magazine’s nauseating “100 Most Beautiful” list. Among the lovelies are Eva Longoria and Tony Parker, as well as Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, because couples are essentially one person. Also...
Gonzalo Navarrete, a doctor and mayor of Lo Prado, Chile, has created a new program aimed at improving the quality of life for old men who want to bone stuff. He will pass out free Viagra to men 60-years-old...
Juicy Couture, a name you might recognize emblazoned across a suburban 12-year-old’s ass, is suing Victoria Secret over the latter’s “Pink” line, which you might recognize from similarly aged asses in malls across America. Juicy claims VS stole style...
Legendary soccer icon Ronaldo, nee Ronaldo Luis Nazário de Lima, accidentally bought some tranny hookers this weekend in Brazil. Ugh. That’s more annoying than when you get home and find out they put sausage on your vegetarian pizza. Our...
We used to intern at a highly esteemed pornographic publication, so we’ve been subjected to some pretty terrible porn in our lifetime. But the “Elliot Spiltz-Her Story,” a parody of the Eliot Spitzer scandal featuring plastic boobies, lots of...
Proving there is some justice in this crazy mixed-up world, a judge has granted YouTube’s favorite rising phoenix, Tricia Walsh-Smith, permission to continue making videos as her divorce proceedings, um. Proceed: A Manhattan judge yesterday barred the peeved play...
Karina Smirnoff, Mario Lopez’s ex and former dance partner on “Dancing with the Stars” has moved out of his L.A. home amidst allegations of “canoodling” with other men. Ugh. Canoodles are always served with too much cheese: Smirnoff, who...
Our fave gay Colombian blogger Blabbeando found a disturbing video on YouTube of some Colombian high school students being taunted by their entire student body after a court order overturned their expulsion from the institution on the basis of...
Remember Christina Milian? No? She sang that song about that thing and was in that movie with those people? Still nothing, huh? Well, she’s now appearing in an ad campaign for Op Clothing, which is currently available at your...
Jim Carrey is currently filming his latest movie, I Love You Phillip Morris, in which he plays a man who is incarcerated, falls in love with his cellmate (played by Ewan “Our Husband” McGregor) and breaks out of jail...
When we put on a pair of pants — which is, admittedly, a rare occurrence as we blog for a living — we like to look and feel as if we’ve taken a massive shit in said pants. It’s...
One of the benefits of blogging is that you get anthrax interesting stuff sent to you. One of such delicious “packages” arrived last night in our inbox as a thinly-veiled press release (with attached photo goodness) announcing a new...
We were so caught up in picturing what the inside of Aliza Shvarts’ fridge might look like, what with all the protein she’s stored up, and if she had to make a conscious effort not to buy mayonnaise for...
Americans are a bunch of uncultured, ignorant prudes who don’t have the sense to own bidets. A people unaccustomed to the singular pleasure of having little jets of water shoot up one’s anus could not possibly wrap their minds...
Today Nortec Collective featuring Bostich + Fussible drops their third album, “Tijuana Sound Machine,” so this weekend Guanabee Editor Cindy Casares spent a few hundred minutes talking to founder Pepe Mogt, aka Fussible, about the album, the group and...
Hulk Hogan likes to apply sunscreen to his daughter’s buttcheeks, because there’s nothing worse than butt cancer. Except, possibly, your father rubbing down your ass with lotion. [Drunken Stepfather] But that pales in comparison to this guy. He gives...
Designer Donatella Versace supports Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton, but would support her a little more if she would just do something about her clothes: “Hillary should wear Versace - a dress, not trousers,” the designer mused. “She doesn’t need...
Ashley Alexandra Dupré is in the news again, this time suing “Girls Gone Wild” creator Joe Francis for a cut of video sales he’ll receive by using old footage of her as a drunken 17-year-old. What happens in Miami,...
“Dancing with the Stars’” Cristian de la Fuente was dancing while his partner, Cheryl Burke, flailed around like some sort of crazy muppet, when he got a cramp in his perfectly chiseled arm and dropped her on the floor....
Guanabee heartthrob Johnny Diaz, in a story published recently in the Boston Globe, brings on the awkward by exploring the social and personal implications of “friending” your boss on social sites like Facebook. Diaz writes: Networking sites such as...
A group of fifteen-year-old girls gathered in Mexico City this past weekend to celebrate life and love and lackluster demonstrations of gross materialism. Just kidding! A mass quinces sounds super fun: Dressed in colorful gowns and with hair coiffed...
For anyone who has had the pleasure of working in retail, it’s not news that shoppers can be difficult to the point that one can easily wile away almost 6.5 hours of an 8 hour shift thinking up new...
What’s more delicious than waking up with that horrible tequila-soaked ass taste in your mouth? Why, waking up with that horrible tequila-soaked ass taste and knowing you were part of a stupid marketing scheme! Behold! Frida Kahlo Tequila: “Made...
“Saturday Night Live’s” Amy Poehler’s uterus is filled with baby, thanks in part to former “Arrested Development” star Will Arnett. News of her pregnancy arrives just in time for us to remember not to watch her new movie with...
Salma Hayek is donning a beard (No, not Penelope Cruz! Cállate ya.) for her latest movie Cirque Du Freak. And she still looks hotter than we ever have, in our entire lives. Even though all we have is some...
What happens when America’s foremost feminist icon and some gossip blogger get together in Washington D.C.? It’s up to you to tell us, because we’re too lazy / busy hating this world. Image via Gawker...
Lalaine Vergara Paras, or “Lalaine” as she was credited during her time on “Lizzie McGuire” (like Madonna, kind of, except no one knows who she is) has apparently been pretty busy since the show ended. Did you know she’d...
Absinthe is making a come-back for the seventy-third time, it seems. We have no idea why, as it tastes like licorice left out in the rain, and won’t have any wormwood anyway. Anyway, here’s how to drink it, if...
The New York Times published a story yesterday on the growing popularity of clothing-optional vacation destinations. It also included a somewhat disturbing and arguably “Safe” For Work slideshow showing us, you know, old people with leathery and sagging skin...
Josef F, a 73-year-old Austrian man, has been arrested after it was discovered that he had kept his daughter, Elisabeth, imprisoned in the family basement for 24 years. He raped her repeatedly, producing seven children, one of whom died...
“The Early Show” talks about how America’s sweetheart, brazen harlot Miley Cyrus, is making toddlers have sex with each other. They call in an expert who says nothing and highlight how angry Disney is about Miley’s shoot, perhaps because...
Tom Cruise is going to talk to Oprah about that whole Couchgate incident. And then he’s going to eat her brains. [E! Online] Old, racist cartoons available on YouTube, discovers the ever-intrepid NY Times. It’s good to know we’ve...
Fifteen-year-old Miley Cyrus did a photo shoot for Vanity Fair, shot by Annie Leibowitz because of course, in which she appeared to be wearing nothing but a sheet and some serious post BJ face. She’s since apologized for making...
We can honestly say that, despite thinking that Ashton Kutcher is ridiculously good-looking, we’ve never found him remotely attractive. We just don’t particularly go for guys who look like they’re going to try to stick it in the wrong...
video.vh1.com Last night on your favorite show “Viva Hollywood,” Vinci the heterosexual narrowly escaped being thrown out of the Casa de los Locos when the contestants were asked to face their greatest fear: proving they have talent beyond their looks....
Leah Remini, “King of Queens” actress and Jennifer Lopez’s Scientologist frenemy, has a 16 nearly 4-year-old daughter, Sofia, who is still drinking from the bottle. Who does on turn to for help in such troubled times? Why, Rachael Ray,...
Tricia Walsh-Smith, the impoverished playwright who posted a video on YouTube in an attempt to alert you, the humble plebeian internet troll, to her plight as she faces divorce and possible eviction. This time around, Tricia, in a glorious...
Member when we told you the “Latin presence” at Harvard otherwise known as Presencía Latína is honoring Ramon Ayala aka Daddy Yankee aka pervy mcperv as Harvard’s Latino of the year? Kind of unbelievable, huh? You know what would...
It’s been a tough week, poodles. We’ve had to write about mean girls, dumb girls, music that made men look bad, and music that made women look worse. Negative week, overall. We need something positive to ease us into...
Oh man, Damon Wayans. You’re so fucking edgy. We’re so happy you created a production company “as an incubator to develop innovative television shows for the internet which will include: comedy, drama, action, reality, and animation. A creative haven...
Kind of like that time Barack Obama discovered he’s related to Dick Cheney except, you know, with people you’ve never heard of, that new feature on Facebook that attempts to guess whether or not you know a person based...
