Americans Are Too Plebeian To Grasp The Subtle Complexities Of Miley Cyrus’ Naked Form, Says Some Asshole

Americans are a bunch of uncultured, ignorant prudes who don’t have the sense to own bidets. A people unaccustomed to the singular pleasure of having little jets of water shoot up one’s anus could not possibly wrap their minds around the opus that is Miley Cyrus’ Vanity Fair photo shoot. Or so says Michael Roberts, the magazine’s fashion and style director. And he may just be correct. All we see’s a teen pop star in a bedsheet. Yeehaw! Pass the possum stew!:

As practiced outrage spread through America on Monday over Miley Cyrus’ back-baring photos for Vanity Fair (”Miley’s Shame” boomed the front of The New York Post), no one was more confounded than the magazine’s fashion and style director, Michael Roberts, who styled the shoot by Annie Leibovitz. “I’m European. I come from London, I lived in Paris, and I just find it extraordinary that this has been blown up like this,” he told WWD.

We live in New York City and eat cold pizza for breakfast, hungover and in our underwear, and we opine, as we wipe this pepperoni grease from our uncultured cheek, that a naked 15-year-old with blowjob lips is still a naked 15-year-old with blowjobs lips, even if styled by someone who is from London and lives in Paris. But what the hell do we know.

He also objected to the characterization of Cyrus’ attire as a bedsheet. “It’s a duchess satin stole, Champagne, specially made — I had several made for different photo shoots. I thought this one was really appropriate. It’s about 83 inches long. She’s not wrapped in something skimpy. She had her jeans on. She looked at the screen and loved the picture.”

Dude, come off your high horse-shaped bidet with special temperature-control settings. It’s a bedsheet.

Memo Pad: Hitting Back… We’ll Take It!… [WWD]