Awaiting The Fallout: Ashlee Simpson And Pete Wentz Are Engaged

Ashlee Simpson is now engaged to Fallout Boy singer and internet penis-poster Pete Wentz. Oh, joy. Writes Ashlee on the “Friends of Enemies” website while giggling:

We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes - it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us.

Yeah, we’ve just been speculating the fuck out of your relationship. We are really trying very hard to -ignore you- respect your privacy, but you’re making it pretty difficult, kiddos. Whatever: Congratulations. A flat iron and coupon for a colonic await you at the reception.

Breaking News… [Friends or Enemies]