Query: Why does Florida exist? Answer: To give us news stories like this. Eighteen-year-old Michael Alfinez of Lake Worth, Florida has been charged with “elder abuse” after making a video of his possibly senile grandmother holding a gun and threatening to shoot “all the pigs.”

The teen dressed eighty-five-year-old abuelita in a ski mask and instructed her to yell profanities into the camera. GILF alert! Grandma In need of new grandson, LOL, something with F.

Elder abuse? Maybe! But it can’t be as bad as the faint odor of fading mortality that clings to the wallpaper at Denny’s during their Early Bird Special.

Teen Charged With Elder Abuse Over Video Showing Senile Grandmother Holding Gun [TransWorld News]