Fun Facts From Florida!: Only Here Would There Ever Have To Be A Law Containing The Phrase “Truck Nuts”

Truck nuts, for the uninitiated, are reproductions of bull genitalia that hang from the back of huge trucks driven by disgruntled soccer moms with page boy haircuts or very large men with very small penises. Well, the Florida Senate, which is made up entirely of Teddy Ruxpin dolls wearing little bow ties, would like to make an amendment that would fine ball-slinging drivers up to $60:

Sen. Jim King, R-Jacksonville, said he had a set on one of his vehicles, which he described as “all pimped out.” They are no more than “an expression of truckliness,” he said, although he’d acceded to his wife’s request to take them off.

“I find it shocking we’d tell people with metallic testicles on their bumpers that this is a violation,” said Sen. Steve Geller, D-Hallandale. “There’s got to be better things for us to spend time debating.”

Geller suggested this ban might be followed by prohibiting silhouettes of nude women on truck mud flaps.

The horror.

“We’re basically going to have the bumper police,” King said.

“All their concerns are legitimate,” Baker said of the critics. “And I do have more important things to do this session. But I think this is important, too.”

Well we’ll be pretty dang cheesed off if the government tries to take our Calvin-peeing-on-a-Toyota logo decal! USA! USA! We imagine, like, a rally of skinny white guys in overalls pumping their visits in Jacksonville.

Getting all ornery.

And sweaty…

And…

…

Ahem. Yes.

Florida Senate amendment takes on ‘Truck Nutz’ [Florida Capital News]