We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again, when British tabloids aren’t busy telling Nigella she has fat knees, they can be so utterly fantastic. Take, for example, this story of John Perry, a man in England who has a hard time storing fat:

Eat your heart out – because this is a man who can scoff what he likes but never puts on an ounce of weight.

Oh goodness, Whoever Wrote That. We want to cover you in treacle and lick it off! Adorable!

He regularly gulps down Chinese takeaways, chips, bars of chocolate, fruit pies, treacle tart and clotted cream.

Oh, it’s like a children’s fairytale!

Yet the 6ft 1in security guard’s weight stays rock steady at 11st 12lb.

John’s condition, called total body lipodystrophy, is caused by high levels of insulin that would normally be fatal.

If a drugs company can work out how his body deals with the hormone it would have the ultimate dieting weapon – and a cure for Britain’s obesity epidemic.

The article also features a little article on insulin, penned by “Dr. Carol Cooper, Sun Doctor.” ‘The Sun” has a doctor? She probably lives in a house made of gumdrops! That’s so silly we’re not even going to read it!

The man who can’t get fat [The Sun]