Lindsay Lohan Will Give Ashley Olsen’s “Full House Ass” A Royal Flush For Talking To Her Girlfriend

That headline is probably a good indication that we should stop reading The NY Post. Anyway, Lindsay Lohan will cut you, Ashley Olsen, if you so much as look her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson. And she’ll probably stalk you on Facebook:

“Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at the Beatrice, and Lindsay screamed at her, ‘Get your 15-year-old ‘Full House’ a - - away from my girlfriend,’ ” said our spy. Saturday, Lohan said Ronson “was ignoring her” and became upset. “Samantha was really focused on her work and didn’t leave the booth for anything,” said our spy. Lindsay is so into her pal, she’s even created a Facebook profile under “Lindsay Ronson.”

Cute! Creepy! We don’t know what to think. We’re still trying to get over the dissolution of our Facebook marriage to Raptor Jesus.

SAM’S ALL HERS [Page Six]