It turns out the two people whom we would most like to be featured with in a sex tape, Alejandro Sanz and Shakira, have a sex tape of their own. And it’s a threesome! With her boyfriend, Antonio de la Rúa! On a yacht! How glamorous! Only it was a all a poorly executed April Fool’s Day joke / daydream / dream-dream:

Internet rumours spread quickly [Ed. note: And not-at-all-ly.] earlier this week about a tape alleged to feature Shakira engaging in a threesome on a yacht with pop star Alejandro Sanz and her boyfriend, Antonio de la Rua.

Argentine DJ Javier Ceriani helped spread the rumour by making comments about the “sex tape” on his Zona Cero radio show.

He said: “It’s been said … there is a private video recorded on a yacht, one that could implicate Alejandro Sanz, Shakira and Antonio de la Rua.”

He suggested the tape was in the hands of the courts.

But representatives for the stars denied a tape exists.

Isn’t that what they do when tapes do exist as well?

In a joint statement, the singers’ representatives said: “This is a false rumour. This is totally absurd any way you look at it. There is no possibility that such a video exists.

Sometimes hips do lie. But, to help you imagine what a tryst between Shakira and Alejandro Sanz might look like as they half-heartedly prepare a meal, here’s “La Tortura:”

Shakira ‘sex tape’ an April Fool’s Day hoax [Stuff]