The New York Times published a story yesterday on the growing popularity of clothing-optional vacation destinations. It also included a somewhat disturbing and arguably “Safe” For Work slideshow showing us, you know, old people with leathery and sagging skin in various states of undress. The same people who, in our humble opinion, need not be going on “Nakations”. We thought nudist were all hot and built and had zero body fat. No?

It’s no longer just a grass-roots, nuts-and-sweets kind of thing,” said Nancy Tiemann, president of Bare Necessities, which specializes in nude travel…

Heh Heh. She said nuts. But, why would anybody want to flaunt their ass pimples and chichos and whatnot?

Most nude vacationers say that what they enjoy most is liberation from the typical pretenses of society. “When you don’t have any clothes on, you don’t know if someone’s a judge or a doctor, or a lawyer or a mechanic,” said Larry Massa. “You are what you are.”

We beg to differ, as we all know lawyers have tiny penises. Also, we believe it’s only a matter of time before Gucci starts making status-affirming, blinged-out cockrings and labia studs. Eww.

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Worries [New York Times]