Oh Hai, Earth Day

Happy Earth Day, Guanababies! We hope the little Earth Elves left lots of recycled napkins under your pillow this morning. Anyway, caring for the Earth is very superficially important to us one day a year, so we’d like to offer you some tips on how to better care for this, our fragile planet:

• Recycle! When you remember.
• Eat less meat. But do not eat soy hot dogs, seriously, because those are disgusting. And probably even made of styrofoam and Cheez Whiz.
• Go green! That’s right, racists.
• If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, -sell it to a German fetish site- flush it down.
• Have sex. Lots of it. Turn off the lights, the computer and the TV and have sex. It’s a much more Earth-friendly workout than driving to a gym and using a treadmill. Then conserve water by taking a shower with your sweetie(s). Now pat yourself on the back. You’ve just saved a baby otter with twinkly eyes! Or something.

Feel free to share your tips in the comments. Hippies.

Comment of the (Earth) Day: Vegetarian = Less Pollution [LAist]
Green Guide [National Geographic]