One Charity Suggests, “When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Clitoraid.” And Then Serve It To Aliens.

Ah, the clitoris. Personally, we think very highly of our clit and our generally great fans of it. And since we wish that everyone had the chance to enjoy one, we’re not such huge fans of female genital cutting. We’re just quirky like that! So when we first read about Clitoraid, a charitable organization that collecting funds to provide women in Burkina Faso who had undergone the procedure with free corrective surgery, we were pretty impressed:

Considering the huge number of Burkinabe women who are candidates to be operated on and as Clitoraid received offer from a few doctors to travel to Bobo Dioulasso and help rebuild the clitoris of all the circumcised women, the Prophet Rael declared: “Instead of using Clitoraid’s collected money to operate on just a few women, we should create the first Raelian Hospital, the “Pleasure Hospital”, and operate on all African women, for free, with the help of Raelian or non-Raelian benevolent doctor”.

Rael? Raelian Hospital? Yes, that caught our eye, too. If a group is named after one person, you know it’s bad news. No, we’d rather not pray at the altar of “The Almighty Greg,” Greg.

As it so happens, Raelianism is a cult that believes all life on earth was created using DNA by scientists from another planet. They also claimed to have cloned a human. An earth… made entirely of clitorises? Scientists… in clitoris costumes? Where do the clits come in, we ask, avoiding several puns?:

On the 13th of December 1973, French journalist Rael was contacted by a visitor from another planet, and asked to establish an Embassy to welcome these people back to Earth.

The extra-terrestrial human being was a little over four feet tall, had long dark hair, almond shaped eyes, olive skin, and exuded harmony and humor. Rael recently described him by saying quite simply, “If he were to walk down a street in Japan, he would not even be noticed.” In other words, they look like us, and we look like them. In fact, we were created “in their image” as explained in the Bible.

Well, that’s a mighty throbbing vain you’ve got there, Rael. So, yeah. Clits are great. We love when they’re attached. But we just don’t love cults. Or the French. So, sorry.

Adopt a clitoris and help to make history [Clitoraid]
Message from the Designers [Rael.org]