To prove he really did swap DNA with strokeface singer John Mayer, Perez Hilton took a polygraph test with that guy who gives lie detector tests on every show ever. Luckily, Us Magazine was there to capture every excitement-filled second. You can watch the whole stupid thing here.

The test shows he did, in fact, have his tonsils gently caressed by John Mayer’s big, dumb tongue while little spit bubbles formed at the corners of their mouths. That is so special; we want the whole scene done up on a velvet painting to hang in our bathroom.

Also, all this stupid shit went down in 2006? We probably made out with John Mayer in 2006. Who even remembers that far back?

P.S. We’re actually not kidding about that velvet painting thing. If you can somehow make that happen, please let us know.

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Perez Hilton Takes Lie Detector Test on John Mayer Kiss [Us Magazine]