Virgins With Hard Drives: Tania Derveaux Will Let You Fuck Her If You Blog About Net Neutrality
25 April 2008, 3:15 PM. By Daniel Mauser
Tania Derveaux (a former Senatorial candidate in Belgium who promised “40,000 blowjobs” to supporters) is a woman on a mission. She wants to protect net neutrality. So fervent is her passion that she is willing to have sex with any virgin who provides “proof” that he (Or she? Presumably not.) has been defending net neutrality. We cannot wait to die. Let’s take a look at Tania’s requirements:
- applicants must be 18yrs old or above
- condom must be used, except if the applicant prefers to release his semen upon Tania’s body without any oral or vaginal contact
- Anal sex is negotiable, although Tania will cease the performance immediately if any form of ’surprise buttsex’ occurs
- multiple participants are not allowed, but applicants are entitled to have an audience observe the performance
“Entitled.” Of course they are.
- if anywhere along the process, it becomes clear that the applicant is not a virgin, Tania reserves the right to terminate all activity
- applicant must be able to provide sufficient evidence that clearly shows he has been defending net neutrality (eg. a print-out of a forum post, a link to a vlog)
- applicant agrees that in the event of the applicant infringing upon Terms of Service during the process of the act, Tania is not responsible for any genital injury that the applicant may suffer
- Tania may deny service for hygiene reasons
So. Ok. Let’s proceed as if this is not some sort of elaborate and clever satirical remark on the state of the internet today. Now, Tania, describes her mission thusly:
I’m using sex in a positive way to spread awareness. The reason why only virgins can apply is because I don’t want to make this promise to such a large amount of people that I’ll have to turn some down.
Nope. This is not “sex in a positive way.” So, guys can offer thoughtfully-constructed screeds about freedom of speech and the internet and be accomplishing something noble that merits reward (sexual gratification), but a woman is reduced to a series of orifices for him to ejaculate into in order to work towards making an impact?
While there will be the argument that this is Tania’s body to do as she pleases with, it is one that, ultimately, misses the greater point. This is a public and publicized decision on her part. As such, it is, whether she intended it or not, a reinforcement of structures currently in place in society. Everything you do has a consequence beyond your own immediate experience. So, by agreeing to allow strangers to enter her, she is also making a comment out the purpose and role of our body, of our place in society.
So, Tania, your getting fucked? Fucks us up the ass, too.
I will make love with every virgin who defends the Internet. [Don't Stay A Virgin]
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Meanwhile, what is net neutrality?
Keeping the internet neutral so no country can infringe laws upon it. Which is good n stuff…so yeah….keep it neutral. Now someone show me what a vagina looks like and point me to this chick!
I washed my dick, so Im a virgin again.
Can I get my fuck now?
Go for net neutrality.
I don’t see why net neutrality is a bad thing… So I leave it neutral.
GO NET NEUTRALITY!
I don’t see how having sex with virgins isn’t “sex positive”. Any male who is still a virgin maybe needs some woman to be a bit more flexible in how he views her.
everyone should be aware of net neutrality its so important that companies cant infringe on our rights.
NET NEUTRALITY is the best
net neutrality rox
These people who don’t want net neutrality say whatever they want against every politition and they say its freedom of speech. Then they go off saying that they want to limit content available for internet users. I believe that the internet is the best way to use freedom of speech, and the defenders of freedom and equality should stand up for net neutrality.
Tania if you actualy read your comments then I want you to know this is a message I sent to every major news station, and you know what they didn’t reply or pay any regard to it. Now I know I can’t give you any proof that I sent this message because they deleted it even from my own account.I am 18 years old and yes I am a virgin sorry I couldn’t give enough proof but this is just the best I could do for you at the moment.
If prior evidence can be provided that an individual has campaigned earnestly for net neutrality, their motives should not be viewed as deviant, as they must have shown consideration before the offer for sex has been made. Granted, one can easily cut and paste and feign caring, but let’s assume there is a reaffirmation clause in this hypothetical, vis-a-vis, tell Tania in your own words, not the words of your post.
Look, the most brilliant [heterosexual] mind in the world would still acknowledge that sex with a beautful woman would be pleasant, barring any unforseen circumstances afterward. It would therefore be unfair to say that something is wrong with a person who would greatly affirm their already held convictions for the sake of getting laid.
It could be labeled misleading, since it is doubtful that Tania will seek out all supporters. But even if she picks a random five to make good with, the issue still grows in the mind and those who have already shown said interest will further said cause forthright.
And she is very, very hot. Yay net neutrality.