Legendary soccer icon Ronaldo, nee Ronaldo Luis Nazário de Lima, accidentally bought some tranny hookers this weekend in Brazil. Ugh. That’s more annoying than when you get home and find out they put sausage on your vegetarian pizza. Our sweaty, little bro Machochip has the scoop:

We’re oblivious to the type of insurmountable shame necessary to voluntarily go to police after discovering prostitutes accompanying you have “franks and beans” stored in their panties. AC Milan’s Ronaldo (the fat one) discovered the prostitutes he hired, after a long night out clubbing, weren’t exactly what he paid for.

Mmm hmmm. And we’re sure he was so drunk.

“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun,” [Augusto Nogueira, a police inspector] said. “But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best.” [Ed: At best!]Prostitution is not illegal in Brazil. “Ronaldo said he is not good in the head and that he is going through psychological problems because of his recent [knee] surgery,” Nogueira added.

We know what he means. That time we busted both our ankles, we totally developed a diaper wearing fetish. Just sat around in our waste all day. It was hot. Machochip also uncovered pics of the alleged feminine looking boys who, for some reason, have copies of Ronaldo’s car documents. Also there’s some video of the girls from the Italian press that’s all, “Lalalalalala prostitutos lalalalalala.” Enjoy.

AC Milan’s Ronaldo Caught With Transvestites [Machochip]
Ronaldo’s Transvestites Don’t Really Look Like Women [Machochip]