Hey womenz! Are you afraid to speak up - be it in class, the office or frou frou French restaurant - for what you want out of fear of being seen as bitchy, selfish or overly aggressive? If you do, you’re probably not alone, according to Linda Babcock, a professor of economics and founder of Progress - an organization aimed at teaching women how to negotiate effectively:

Time and again, I saw women accept the status quo, take what they were offered and wait for someone else to decide what they deserved. Men asked for what they wanted and usually got what they asked for.

Much of this hesitation on women’s part come from the double-standard that exist wherein the equivalent of an “ambitious man” is a “bitchy woman:”

Behavior that can lead a man to be seen as ambitious or a go-getter can brand a woman as too pushy and aggressive. She may be called rude names, receive negative evaluations based solely on her personal style instead of her work and find herself closed out of networks or opportunities from which she might benefit. My boss was pleased that I asked him for what I wanted. A lot of women aren’t so lucky.

Babcock (shut up, you guys) advises that, in order to tackle this, not only must women learn and become comfortable with becoming more assertive and vocal about their needs and wants, but we all have to become conscious of our reaction to assertive women and actively attempt to do away with damaging societal expectations:

We may not consciously realize that we’re tougher on assertive women than we are on men who behave in similar ways. But we need to be diligent on this score.

So the next time you react negatively to the behavior of a strong woman, stop yourself and say instead, “I’m glad she’s going after what she wants.”

Too right. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Still waters run deep.

Sorry. Got carried away.

Women, Repeat This: Don’t Ask, Don’t Get [NY Times]