Absinthe is making a come-back for the seventy-third time, it seems. We have no idea why, as it tastes like licorice left out in the rain, and won’t have any wormwood anyway. Anyway, here’s how to drink it, if you must:

CLASSIC FRENCH METHOD

• Pour approximately one shot (1/2 – 1 oz.) of absinthe into a tall glass
• Balance your absinthe spoon on top of the glass and place a sugar cube on top of it
• Slowly drizzle approximately three pours worth of chilled water over the sugar cube. The absinthe should immediately begin to turn white or a pearly-gray color.
• Slowly savor the drink—the effects may take some time to kick in!

Then, slowly bring your fist back and release, quickly and energetically, towards your face because you’re a tool drinking absinthe. JK! Maybe our own experience was just particularly negative. It was homemade absinthe, tasted like death and, while we didn’t hallucinate, we did accidentally set our friend’s carpet on fire. Her flooring, too. Awful.

ABSINTHE FOR BEGINNERS [trendcentral]