Angelina Jolie, who is rumored to be expecting twin girls, has an entire team of specially-trained ninja fighters waiting in the wings for her to pop:

Angie’s currently staying at the plush Villa Maryland on the French Riviera and according to the report, has her personal doctor from California, two nannies, a midwife and a helicopter pilot ready to spring into action once the green light is given and Jolie will be rushed to the nearby Princess Grace Hospital, with two other nearby facilities on call.

Sensational. But, pray tell, why not focus a wee bit more on the trolls one already has? Specifically poor little Not Shiloh. Zanahoria? Zig-a-zig-ah? Zahara! That’s it.

We know Angelina is always on top of Maddox’s ‘hawks and highlights and That Other Boy’s bangs. And Shiloh is obviously tended to by a team of woodland fairies. But what about Zahara? Now, we recently hacked all our hair off because we didn’t feeling like dealing with long hair anymore, - so maybe we’re not in a position to give advice- but, you’re a celebrity, so we effectively own your soul. Angie (Can we call you Angie? No? Oh. Ok.), if you don’t know how to tend to her hair yourself, perhaps take her to someone who does and get some tips. Not because little girls need to have impeccable hair at all times, but because it gives the impression that you can’t be bothered to tend to hair that isn’t straight. Which is rather problematic, to say the least.

Angelina Jolie’s Birthing Team Ready To Go [A Socialite’s Life]