Bidet WikiHow Wants To Save You From Genitoanal Embarrassment

You may have noticed, in your travels around the Middle East, Japan, and Europe, a bidet sitting right next to the toilet. Well, some nice people have written a wikiHow article on how to properly use a bidet, in case you didn’t know the correct way to enjoy its refreshing goodness. And as much as it looks like a drinking fountain, please refrain from bringing your face anywhere near it. We’ve found that there’s nothing quite as stimulating as a high-pressure stream of water up your Ahh…But bidets can be treacherous little things. The wikiHow authors added the following warnings about the bidet:

• Dry wipe at least once after having a bowel movement and before using the bidet. Excess fecal matter may clog the bidet drain. This can be quite disgusting for someone who uses the bidet after you. [Ed. Note: No shit, Sherlock!]
• Be very careful adjusting the temperature and pressure on the bidet. You want to avoid scalding sensitive skin, and high pressure can be very irritating.
• Drinking from a bidet is not recommended. The stream can ricochet off a soiled area and become contaminated.

We’ve always used the Guanabee bidet as a sangria bowl. We’re so glad somebody came up with another use for that thing.

How to Use a Bidet [WikiHow]