Ricky Martin gyrated himself towards Washington D.C. in order to speak out against human trafficking (Oh, is that bad now?). But whoooo ayayayayayay! Isn’t he totally el hot-o?! Ugh, can’t a man try to do a little charity work without being completely reduced to a series of finely-toned body parts often totally on display in concerts, TV and while doing gay yoga on the beach?:

Great news! Turns out Shakira isn’t the only swivel-hipped, golden-throated international chart-topping Latin sex bomb who’s going to help the children. We’ve also got Ricky Martin on the case — and he’s planning to open an office right here in Washington.

We know what we’re planning to open for this sizzling hot mofongo! Giggle!

The “Livin’ la Vida Loca” singer came to town yesterday to talk about his particular focus: fighting human trafficking. At the Inter-American Development Bank, he unveiled a toll-free hotline for victims (1-888-NO-TRATA, short for “no trafficking” in Spanish) and laid out the data: Some 2 million people are coerced into sex slavery or forced labor worldwide; 20,000 in the United States. “Once you have all this information, if you do nothing, it’s like allowing it to happen,” Martin said.

GOD ENOUGH ABOUT THE BORING HUMAN TRAFFICKING NONSENSE! JUST TELL US WHAT HE’S WEARING!!!1!!!!111!!!

Despite Martin’s impeccable heartthrob/paparazzi-bait credentials, his appearance here was far less unruly than Shakira’s press-mobbed conference on Capitol Hill last week. The singer (in a sharp gray suit, a tidy soul patch/goatee hybrid sprouting from his chin) sat onstage with bank prez Luis Alberto Moreno fielding questions from Univision and Telemundo telebabes, while our colleague David Montgomery and a gaggle of Spanish-language press were quarantined in the balcony.

Holy telebabe taquitos! When will mainstream media outlets begin describing Latino artists as something other than “hot” or “hip-swiveling” or “passionate” or “sexy, leggy bloggers?” You know, sometimes, we have stuff going on above the waist, too.

Oh, right. You did mention his tidy soul patch. Nevermind!

Straight From the Heartthrob [Washington Post]