Guanabee Commenter Shout-Out: Maria Elena Knows What’s Up

Friday is so close we can almost smell it caked in our hair the morning after! Yum. And, as we usually do when we remember or when there are comments satisfactory enough to warrant, we’re farting out a commenter shout-out. This week’s commenter uses words to say things other than “boobs” or “peepee caca” or whatever you people usually say. Maria_Elena is rocking our socks in a very… sock-rocking manner. Here’s a sampling of some of her finest moments this past week:

Re: Frida Kahlo Tequila Will Put A Little Hair On Your Brow

I just went to the Frida Kahlo exhibition at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, and for the first time in my life saw her art up close. Reprints do NOT do her painting justice. So for an art geek like me it was a magical time.

Then the exhibition snaked us right into the gift shop.

Look, of course she was the “manufacturer of her own image”; no one can debate that she didn’t. But oh my god that gift shop.

It was like seeing her soul smashed to bits then smeared out in the sun like manure to be distributed as fertilizer for the plastic junk that fuels our empty commercialized culture run by capitalist pigs.

Ahem.

Alls I’m saying is that she is probably rolling in her grave.

This was like a novel! Except we actually read it.

Re: Watchando: Is Wearing Her Freudian Slip

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I laughed uneasily over the horrendous father/daughter newsday, what with Josef Fritz, the creepy Vanity Fair Cyrus family pics, the father/daughter pimp and giver of brazilians on Tyra (which he couldn’t believe), the alleged incestuous underage polygamists, and now Hulk Hogan dating his daughters’ doppleganger.

His blah career aside, you’d think Hogan would be in a place of quiet contemplation, what with the fact that his son just turned his best friend into a vegetable illegally street racing and is now in jail, and the fact that his 20+ yr marriage is going to be dissolved. Maybe it’s just me, but I might be worried I did something wrong with my life.

Professional wrestlers function at a level that mere mortals like us cannot ever hope to comprehend. This is what happens when your testicles shrink to the size of raisins.

Re: Donatella Versace Would Rather Hillary Clinton Dress A Little More Tastefully

This one. First I wish people would stop giving the senator crap for the way she dresses. It’s not even sport at this point. Tell all the other men what they should wear first, then I’ll entertain discussing her wardrobe. Secondly, I do not want Donatella Versace dressing me, or anyone. If the way she looks (”I vant to suck your blood”) is indicative of her aesthetic, no thanks. Also, there’s a Marc Anthony joke in there somewhere.

Baby, there’s a Marc Anthony joke everywhere.

That’s all she wrote for now, poodles. Enjoy your weekend rubdowns from daddy and take care not to think about how “A Shot At Love With Frida Tequila” would make a great reality series. That’s a sign you’ve had too much.