In The Money: Jessica Alba And Cash Warren Are Married

Jessica Alba and Cash Warren were married in Beverly Hills yesterday in an informal court house ceremony. They brought in dozens of white fake flowers for the occasion because no flower can stand up to the unadulterated magical joy that shoots from Alba’s fingertips. She wore a long blue dress, a ponytail and a frown while Cash was dressed in a white shirt and brown pants. Fascinating!

Congrats, brats. In celebration, Guanabee is pulling for a special shade of Crayola in your honor. “Hopefully Brown.” You’re welcome!

Update: Jessica Alba Didn’t Tell Her Brother, Josh, That She Got Married

Update: Jessica Alba’s Dad Approves Of Harlot Daughter’s Wedding