After intently studying recent pictures of his daughter clamming up on DJ Sam Ronson, Michael Lohan cleans they pretty much prove the two are, as the tabloids or John McCain might say, “an item:”

Days after photos of them nuzzling necks in Cannes, France, surfaced, he tells Usmagazine.com their romance “is evident to anyone with half a brain.”

Like Michael Lohan:

Still, he adds, “Just like the [topless] Marilyn Monroe spread, Linds is my daughter and there are just some things a father doesn’t want to see or hear, regardless of whether they are true or false.”

His daughter, 21, “is a big girl, and she can make her own life choices. Then it is between her and God.”

Haha, he called her fat. Michael Lohan would also like you to be very well aware that even thought he’s always talking about Lindsay’s freckled chocha and, oh, the places it’ll go!, doesn’t mean he’s some sort of, like, grossly inappropriate fame-hungry leech of a father or anything:

Michael — who volunteers for a Christian-based rehab organization — couldn’t help but take a swipe at his ex Dina (who just debuted her new E! reality show).

“Maybe her mother’s life revolves around the tabloids and reports, but mine doesn’t,” Michael says. “I am into setting a good example and doing good things that don’t deceive or exploit my kids.

True! Every good father makes it a point not to exploit his daughter by going ahead and talking about who she sleeps with. It just makes Christmas dinner more fun.

EXCLUSIVE: Michael Lohan: Lindsay, Sam’s Romance “Evident to Anyone With Half a Brain” [Us Weekly]
Earlier: Lindsay Lohan Lesbionics Redeem Her