Nancy Hearts Tom Cruise, Still

Remember when Tom Cruise was cute and charming and everyone loved him and pined for him from deep within their fluorescent-lit cubicle dungeons as their Beanie Babies and Ziggy comics looked down at them in silent shame? Us either. But one woman, Nancy, inexplicably still thinks Tom Cruise is amazing enough to make her kitten-applique sweater tremble with joy. Oprah brought her on to the show for a second time to say hi to Tom and embarrass herself on national television. Watch the clip and try not to giggle when Oprah says Tom is “cruising by.” For PENIS.