Now You, Plebe, Can Own Victoria Beckham’s Sweaty-Chocha-Stained Stage Costumes

Looking for the perfect little something to wear to your next Stitch ‘n Bitch session? Well, then, you bitching stitcher, you’re quite in luck: Victoria Beckham is auctioning off the six, Roberto Cavalli-designed stage costumes she wore for the Spice Girls’ recent tour. Yes, that’s right. You, disgusting impoverished little maggot that you are, can wear something Victoria Beckham probably popped a turtle’s head in onstage. Sensational!

One of the costumes, known as the “Diamond Dress” is hand-stitched with several thousand Swarovski crystals, which are not diamonds and, therefore, a lie. Crikey! Blimey! Cheerio!

Victoria hopes they’ll sell for a thousand British pounds — probably around what she weighs, the heifer — with all the proceeds going to the Victoria and David Beckham Children’s Charity.

Get Into Posh’s Pants! [E! Online]