Chilean dashion designer Claudia Escobar, who moved to Scotland, has taken to using discarded bits of salmon skin to create swimwear and clothing that we do not want touching our labia:

Her Lycra-trimmed, ultra-mini salmon-skin bikini, which she describes as durable and elastic, sells for about 250 pounds ($494.9) and a pair of trousers fetches around 750 pounds. Workers receive half the sale value and there is almost no overhead, she said.

Know what else is durable and elastic? Penis. We’re not wearing a micro-mini bikini made of that, either.

“Many people who lived near rivers and oceans have used fish throughout history. It’s not my original idea,” she said, speaking in Edinburgh’s port area. “It’s amazing, it’s a used product and you transform it into a product with added value.”

Yeah, but. Fish have such creepy eyes…

Escobar, who came to Scotland four years ago, said she sees fashion as a tool to help women overcome poverty by taking traditional, local materials and molding them into high-priced luxury items. She said tanned fish skins have long been used in Russia and Japan, where they were used to bind sword handles.

She has worked with Mapuche Indians in South America and women in Senegal where she sent them a technique for using fish skins based on their own method of treating goat skins.

We’re wary of wearing anything that isn’t cotton or shiny, shiny PVC against our chochas, so we’d skip on a fish bikini. It also just doesn’t seem like it would hold up to wear and tear as well as something like lycra. What do you think, though? Would you be ok wearing a bikini made of salmon skin? What if it were tempura?

Itsy bitsy teeny weeny little salmon skin bikini? [Reuters]