Amazingly, we still get comments on our posts about transman Thomas Beatie. They run the gamut from messages of encouragement and congratulatory wishes to hateful diatribes. Many though, just express a sense of bewilderment about the whole thing. And lot of commenters seek, often incorrectly, to define Thomas Beatie in ways they they can understand. Well, in order to offer a little more information to those who have limited or no experience with transgender folk, here’s a story that might help. It concerns two young children who were born biologically male but have expressed a desire to act and be treated like little girls ever since they were able to articulate desires in the first place. Both sets of parents, concerned for the well-being of their children, consulted psychological help - with two extremely different results:

Joel and Pam also ended up in front of a gender specialist — Diane Ehrensaft, a psychologist in Oakland. Joel remembers an early session when Pam talked about her concerns.

“I remember her talking to the therapist and saying something to the effect of, like, you know, ‘I’d be OK if Jonah just was gay, I just don’t want … him to be transgender.’ And the therapist just laughed, she said, ‘You know, 15 years ago, I had people on this couch saying, ‘I don’t mind him being a little effeminate, as long as he’s not gay,’” Joel says.

In fact, Diane Ehrensaft’s approach could not have been more different than the approach of Bradley’s therapist. Like Zucker, Ehrensaft is a gender specialist. She says she has seen more than 50 families with children who have what Zucker would describe as gender identity disorder.

Ehrensaft, however, does not use that label. She describes children like Bradley and Jonah as transgender. And, unlike Zucker, [the other child, Bradley’s, therapist] she does not think parents should try to modify their child’s behavior. In fact, when Pam and Joel came to see her, she discouraged them from putting Jonah into any kind of therapy at all. Pam says because Ehrensaft does not see transgenderism itself as a dysfunction, the therapist didn’t think Pam and Joel should try to cure Jonah.

“She made it really clear that, you know, if Jonah’s not depressed, or anxious, or having anything go on that she would need to really be in therapy for, then don’t put a kid in therapy until they need it,” Pam says.

We suggest you read the article in full if only so that, when you enter into an argument with strangers on the internet, you don’t make a complete fool of yourself in the process. ~*Guanabee: The more you know!*~

Two Families Grapple with Sons’ Gender Preferences [NPR]