WednesdayMay212008

Hide David Archuleta From Jeff. David Cook Is The New American Idol.

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How could America not elect the cutest chipmunk ever to grace the small screen as their next American Idol? Oh fuck it. We can’t pretend we care about this show anymore. All their voices sound like mediocrity. And now we’ve broken our we’re-never-watching-American-Idol oath to tell you that George Michael was on. Who cares? Also, is it bad he reminds us of Nick Denton? Anyway, David Cook. Not David Archuleta. Who knew? 12 million Americans, apparently. We hate to think of Our Little Chuletito crying himself to sleep after daddy beats his ass for losing. You have a safe harbor at Guanabee headquarters should you need it, lambchop. We are so over this.

Comments

You kiddin’ me?! That kid is gonna be on the next cover of Tiger Beat! He is SO getting a contract! He is a marketing dream!

Hell yeah. I see a David Archuleta and Selena Gomez pairing in the very near future.

haha I knew it!

David Archuleta got a better contract than Cook!!! he got it for more money too!!! he got 7 offer and went with sony BMG!!! :)

Screw you David Cook, you Nickleback clone. Who ever thinks that Cook can sing better than Archie, think again. Cook destroyed U2 and couldn’t even interpret the raw song that both had to choose from. Cook, enjoy it while you can because Archie was and is the man with the pipes. He even sung it better than Elton.

Cook, you are a bartender, not even close to being a rocker. Don’t read too much into these morons choosing you.

Talk about sour grapes big time. LOL. It doesn’t matter who Archuleta ends up signing with. He did NOT get a million dollar contract -Cook did. Which is the winning prize.

Archie does have a pure and angelic voice. But not one male would ever buy any of his records. His fan base is teenybopper girls. Not true of Cook, whose fan base covers both sexes and a much wider age range. He totally deserved the win and far better fulfills what the show is actually looking for anyway. Which is NOT a choirboy. And shouldn’t Archie at least finish high school before embarking on a career?

Oops -made a mistake. Cook signed a $4 million dollar contract. As of today, Archuleta has not signed a contract, no rumors he has even been offered one yet although he surely will be since every runner up on this show has gotten a contract. But seems a bit premature to claim he will end up with a better contract than Cook’s $4 million contract. Highly unlikely with close to zero chance that would happen since no runner-up on AI has ever been offered one that was worth more than the winner’s.

Archuleta was the first to say that Cook totally deserved the win and would not appreciate his own fans trying to trash the guy. Cowell has a deal with Fox that he gets first chance to sign both the winner and runner-up with Sony BMG -in exchange, if no other company offers at least a $1 million contract to the winner, Sony BMG must. Cook accepted Sony BMG’s offer of $4 million (the winner is guaranteed the offer of at least a $1 million dollar contract). As of today, it does not appear that Archuleta has even signed a contract from any company, much less one equal to Cook’s. But that may be his father’s influence because surely he did receive offers -maybe his father is holding out for a better offer but it is unlikely to improve with time. And no offer to Archuleta will equal Cook’s -even that industry recognizes the limited fan base Archuleta has. Cook has already broken all sorts of music industry records -including having more songs simultaneously debut in the top 100 at any time since the Beatles, more songs in the Hottest 100 Digital songs since Miley Cyrus (previous record holder) etc. Something other Idol winners were never able to accomplish. So get over the disappointment and accept the fact his guy won -and he really is very appealing to a pretty wide fan base and is very likely going to be quite successful for some time to come.

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