Attention Upper Middle class liberal arts school grads with over-inflated senses of entitlement and self-worth! American Apparel is now carrying the Hitachi magic wand “massager” through their online store. Because your clitoris is super tense, right?:

This old school hand-held massager has been around for more than 25 years, with good reason. Its low vibration works as well on your sore back as it does in the bedroom. If there is any doubt, google it for worldwide rave reviews.

O hai! We’re sure this will go perfectly with our new gold lamé hotpants and total lack of self-awareness, but we’ll stick to getting our toys at Babeland. If only because, there, Dov Charney’s ball cheese is sold separately.

MAGICWAND New Hitachi Magic Wand Massager [America Apparel]