Expert Nobodies Weigh In On Jessica Alba’s Choice Of Baby Name

We kind of love it when tabloid magazines call in “experts” to talk about celebrities they have and will probably never meet. Other than a pet psychic, “tabloid celebrity expert” is the job we most covet. Us Magazine called in super-famous baby name expert, Pamela WeAlreadyForgot, to talk about Jessica Alba’s decision to name her daughter “Honor:”

“Honor is one of the Puritan Virtue names that has been making a comeback along with sisters Hope, Faith and Charity,” Pamela Redmond Satran, coauthor of baby-naming guides Cool Names and The Baby Name Bible, tells Usmagazine.com.

Why not “Chastity.” Or “Intact Hymen Marie?”

“My guess is that Jessica Alba, going through life as one of several trendily-named ‘Jessicas’ in any room, was looking for a name that was both classic and unusual, and she made an excellent choice,” Satran says.

We think someone who goes to life with a last name one letter away from “Satan” might have a tendency to project. That said, we can’t wait to name our daughter Casserole L’Tina (It’s French.), so she won’t have to suffer through the absolute horror of being one of fifty thousand “Alex’s” wandering about sexily.

Why Jessica Alba Named Her Newborn Daughter Honor [Us Magazine]