A 50-year-old man in Tampa, Florida took his wife’s departure to tend to her sick mother as the perfect opportunity to go onto Ye Olde Listes of Craig and place an ad for a maid… Who wouldn’t mind doing a little housekeeping in the nude. A woman named Kenna Dimartini snapped her nonexistent suspenders and heartily answered his call. Sweet. What could possibly go wrong?:

After the 50-year-old man hired the woman from the Internet on Friday, the maid stole from his suburban Tampa home despite not wearing any clothes, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said.

The woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour, authorities said.

The man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean, according to sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter.

When the man’s wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.

One guess where she hide the jewelry. And, um. If you’re to go and risk potentially tossing your marriage asunder by hiring a naked stranger over the internet, why would you not, you know. Stick around and watch her clean all nekked instead of leaving her alone? That’s no way to treat a naked skinny hipster boy we conned into building our furniture naked housekeeper.

Nude Maid Steals $40G Worth of Jewelry From Florida Home [Fox News]