Guanabee Asks: How Much Will Thomas Beatie’s First Baby Pictures Sell For?
30 June 2008, 4:20 PM. By Alex Alvarez
With Thomas Beatie due to give birth any day now, we’re wondering why there isn’t more chatter revolving around the price magazines are willing to shell out for the first photos. Is Thomas, who has appeared on such mainstays of mainstream American pop culture as the cover of People magazine and “Oprah,” too weird and unpalatable for the American public? Or has he refused to sell his baby to a people ravenous for sensationalism and exploita… Hahaha! Right. He’ll totally sell those photos before the babies been dried off. So what sort of bank do you think Thomas will make? Extensive research and our own informed (Haha again!) guess, after the jump:
In order to properly evaluate about how much Thomas Beatie will be paid for the first photos of his womb troll, we must first take a look at some of fertile his celebrity predecessors:
Who: Angelina Jolie’s twins: $15 million
Why: People either love or love to hate the brand known as “Brangelina,” probably because they are beautiful in precisely the sort of plastic, overly inflated kind of way America finds most palatable. Also, people love twins because they have incredible powers, like telepathy and (if they’re female) lesbian tendencies. Plus, the money Brangelina take from these photos will go to some charity that provides water to partially aborted fetuses with cleft palates or something.
Who: Jennifer Lopez’s twins, Emme and Max: $6 million
Why: Again, everyone loves twins. Also, and don’t even front, people wanted to see how much weight Jennifer Lopez had kept on after her pregnancy. The rumors about her newborns being wrapped in tiny coats made of angel foreskins and having bellybutton piercings made of blood diamonds also worked to drum up interest in how they might look / what sort of plastic surgery procedures they had done since birth.
Who: Christina Aguilera’s son, Max: $1.5 million
Why: We honestly have no idea. And, apparently, neither did anyone else as no one was really all that interested in the first place and the resulting cover was one of People’s worst selling ever.
Who: Nicole Richie’s daughter, Harlow: $1 million
Why: People probably suspected she’d give birth to a Fava bean with a little face painted on and wanted to see whether or not their suspicions would be confirmed.
Who: Jamie-Lynn Spears daughter, Chlamydia-Jean or Whatever: One gently-used tube of chapstick and a bucket of chicken
Why: You can see this sort of thing every single day on Maury Povich and / or in Polk County, Florida.
So, we figure Thomas Beatie is not as famous as any of the examples above, but his story is one that doesn’t exactly every month or so, as most celebrity pregnancies do. That kind of novelty has got to be worth at least a Nicole Richie DUI, so there’s $1 million. Add an additional half million for Thomas’ tendency to be over-sharey and another half for his propensity to take photos that resemble our shroom trips. That’s $2 million, then, for the pregnant transman’s first baby photos.
Do you agree?
(4) 
Post Your Comment
Did you know you can now share a link, image or video?
Click to submit your own notas.
I think that sounds about right, but he should hold out for 5 mil. Whoever publishes those pics is going to make bank in sales.
But the only reason we like celebrity baby photos is because we secretly hope they might be ugly and then we can make fun of them since their life is so much more charmed than our own…
So, no one cares if the first transman’s baby is ugly or not.
What we DO want to pay money for is the video of him giving birth, with his wee-wee flopping around and everything. THAT’S what we want to see!
WHAT HAPPEN WITH HUMANS?
How we can give attention to this sick people Tomas and Nancy? How horrible will be for the new baby to know that her mami became a man.
I hope the doctors who perform the fecundation to this sick woman/man is in the jail and all this people transgenders, lesbians and gays must be killed so this will stop the end of this world.
We have to believe that only exist in this planet MAN and WOMAN, no more, the rest are only MONSTERS.
I hope this new born baby can not survive, because she will be suffer so much she will have a shock ahen realize who is her mother!!!
and can have big poroblems in her future, besides that, she will not be breastfeeding, so what a egoism of her mother Thomasa, this woman/man should stay in the jail becasue she is going against the HUMANITY.
If she choose to be a MAN, she should repect the HUMANITY and not play as a woman just because they wanted a child, this is RIDICULOUS AND ABSOLUTELY MOUNSTRUOSITY.
Do not respect transgenders neither gays, etc, they are just monsters! a kind of human specie in deterioration, something that is just nearly to finish promptly.!
THE INOCENT CREATURES
Asking for money to put a picture of the new born babyes from this celebrities ignorants, is to go agains the respect for humans!
Who are the responsables?
The magazines, TV, radio, and internet to promote this ridiculous mesagges and show pictures of innocent creatures.
If nobody care about the new born babyes of this “special” woman, I am sure that they will not ask for money, so the life of a human is now only 20 millon of dollars???
LETS STOP THE RIDICULOS ARTICLES AND LETS BE MORE REALISTIC, THE WORLD IS NEARLY FINISH AND WE JUST DOING NOTHING.
Just spending hundred of dollars to promote this ridiculous advertisements, instead of donations for poor people, sick people, orphans.
ALso to help the ecosystem, the animals,
All of these make sense in our lives nor the “celebrities gossips and ridiculous articles” from these monsters and clows.