Manuel Uribe, who once held the world record for world’s heaviest person at 1,235 pounds, is getting ready to marry his long-term girlfriend. But, first, he needs to be able to walk. Or, like. Stand up:

His most recent attempt to escape the house — to attend Solis’ 38th birthday party in March — fell through when a flatbed tow truck brought to transport his reinforced bed got caught beneath an underpass.

Awko taco…

But Uribe vowed not to be deterred: “We are in love, and this year my birthday wish is to be able to stand when we get married,” he said.

Uribe said he met Solis, a 38-year-old hairdresser, four years ago. They have been together for the last two.

“We are a couple,” Uribe said. “We have sex, and in the eyes of God we are already married.”

God is all, like, “Child, please. Don’t you speak for Me. Harlot.” Anyway, good for them. This sounds romantic. Or really, really terrible:

Solis said her family initially opposed the match with Uribe, because her first husband, who was also obese, died of respiratory failure.

Now. A fetish based on mutual consent is nice! It’s fun. It brings people and small, costumed animals together and that’s all quite lovely. But having some sort of fetish that requires a person to be completely dependent on you or that jeopardizes their health is… Well.

Hey, we guess that’s ok, too. Who are we to say what’s arousing and what’s exploitative or to even say the two are mutually exclusive. Congrats, you two crazy kinds! Your china and baby wipes are in the mail as we type.

700-pound Mexican man hopes to stand for wedding [AP]